someone asked me how I keep going....this was my written reply..

what gets me going is wanting a better future for my kids. On the days that I don't feel up to it (more often then not lol..) I take one look at my lil' ones and want a better tomorrow for them then my yesterdays have been and I get to work. It's hard, omg do I ever know it.. we are a one car family and hubby needs that for work.. so for 10+ hours a day M-F I am stuck in our apartment with three kids screaming to get out, calories that need burned, meals that need cooked, cleaning that needs done..the list goes on and on.. hubby will call and say he's made his step goal on the way to work and I just want to scream.. my work is here, we don't go anywhere!!!! So I've had to get creative with my workouts (the wii and my ipod are my best friends in that regard!) .. and I've had to find ways to involve the kiddos (not easy when we're talking three kids five and under two of whom are still breastfeeding!) but I get it done.. one way or another. I don't want to either not live to see my grandkids..or see my children struggle in life as I have.. so on those days I just cant take it anymore.. I think of how I've been teased over the years.. I think of all the tears that didnt need to be shed..of all the heart ache.. of all the misery, and I put my tuchas in motion to spare them from that. 9/10 I feel better for having done it.. and now that I've been at it awhile my kids actually encourage me " mommy walk it out! burn your calories" "where's your burn mom? can I see?!" "hey mommy let me turn the light on your body bugg and see how much your winning".. and rounds of applause when a target alarm go off have all become part of my day to day life. The other night at the grocery store I met my calorie burn and all three kids started clapping and the baby (she's 17months) did a lil' happy dance right in the middle of the aisle. I've tucked that memory away deep in my heart and in my head, for those moments I think why am I doing this?! HOW am I going to do this?! wth was I thinking?!?! and I get back in gear.. knowing another happy dance and more loving smiles from my kiddo's.. are going to be there.. not only in the days ahead.. but in the weeks, months and years.. and someday in the faces of my grandkids..who will have never known their Nana unhealthy and cocooned in fat.. I'll be the Nana with room on her lap for all the loving and cuddling I can take.. because I'm working NOW for it... before it's too late